Thursday, December 11, 2008

cassia is hiring!

applicant must be willing to work in:
  1. dirty kitchen, or
  2. dirty office
  3. with a disorganized boss
  4. with fragmented speech
  5. with a big big vision
  6. you will be able to change the above 4 points with your dedication and minimal effort.

boss promises to:

  1. make life fragrant
  2. make life interesting
  3. stretch you
  4. let you co-collaborate, considering all but maintaining the right to choose
  5. let you negotiate your own compensation schedule

opportunities:

  1. webmaster; i promise to bow to you every morning! i take role of learner, you will be masta. i have the vision; but you "make it happen, number 1!" webmaster would be responsible for creating the word/excel/xml export files necessary to update and import new products into server. website is on a template system with multiple layers that drive me absolutely bonkers. then create an inventory system. help me with google adwords and linking all to each other thus driving search engine relevancy upwards. must have prior product based webmaster experience or be agile at figuring out software. telecommuting possible only with extreme attention to detail and ability to follow my instruction. requirements: msoffice, latest version, cs3, highspeed internet and dedicated line.
  2. secretary: this would be a work yourself out of a job job. i need someone who can work with CS3 and import into label or MS word program to make labels. you teach me and then i can do. short term assignment. then i need someone who can teach me a web based newsletter designing system. the successful applicant with have some design finesse.
  3. designer: this could be person 1 or person 2. the exceptional applicant might do all 3!
  4. product tester: this is a fluff job but nonetheless important. must be cutting edge current with market trends, need all age groups: 10-18, 18-25,26-35,36-55. you get product for free and will give me comprehensive, clinical as well as visceral data encompassing all sensory stimulus provided by product and will submit data in writing. sorry, you get no compensation whatsoever but the joy of knowing you helped a startup business get off the ground. you might evolve into a technical advisor. a mall magnet slash mole would provide sound spy interfacing with outside market territory.
  5. salesman/woman: the successful salewoman will have a nice wardrobe, good grooming, wellspoken and reliable transportation. will love the products and be able to interface with strangers in high end venues with grace and ease.
  6. research and development:research raw materials, legal and trends. may involve travel, but mostly web based.
  7. ordinary people with jobs: who would be willing to take and showcase product samples in work place and provide brochures when people cry out with exclamatory ecstatic delight when the fragrance comes wafting into their olfactory/pleasure sensory glands. these same people would be willing to direct the overwhelming response by way of taking orders or directing to website for ordering. compensation level would begin with free product or coupons, then gradient sliding compensation based upon volume at a percentage yet to be determined. applicant can feel free to provide me with their desired rate of pay.
  8. link exchange- this is a very successful way of networking. referrals will be compensated with a percentage of total sales gained from traffic initiated at your site and referred to mine.
  9. banner ads: let me place a banner on your website; make a commision on referral sales
  10. affiliate marketing: similar to above. i gotta get that set up; have started already.
  11. wear my line: wear my tee shirt to the store to the baseball game to the gym and get free stuff. you do it because you love me! and hand out brochures when asked what a beautiful tee shirt you are wearing, not a paid job unless you sell a bunch of stuff that way.
  12. have a party! book a party for me and get a commission on volume sold or free product!
  13. production line assistant: make candles according to precise measurements and ingredients. clean up resulting dirty kitchen......
  14. territory/resional sales manager: sell to boutiques and stores nationwide! wow. wouldn't that be great. name your price, you got it! can be male or female, obviously.
  15. licensor of goods: produce beautiful acoustical discreetly worshipful music acoustic, no words. license to me and i will place on my website and sell as relaxation/meditative products......hmmmm. label will be ivory palaces,,,,,ps 45:9.
  16. drop shipper. you sell my product on your website. you buy nothing. you sell at retail, send me the wholesale price. i ship to your customer, you keep 40% profits. you keep monies collected from your site. great profit! i send you photos and excel files of data on products; you put on your website and sell. Sales tax certificate required.
  17. retailer. you buy at wholesale,sell at your place for retail at whatever price you can get. you must present to me a Texas or State Sales Tax Exemption certificate to qualify.
  18. glass blower. name your price. i will sell your stuff.
  19. seamstress for proposed new produc line.
  20. fundraising: i send you promotional materials about my line, you use me as a fundraising opportunity for your mission trip, business, school, cheerleading assoc. whatever. you sell at retail, i keep wholesale; you make profits! 40-50% is customary.
  21. hitman: honestly, if all this has amused you but you still want to help, already having a day job, please just do me this favor: log onto my website: www.cassiacandlefragrance.com

and then hit the little green button on the left corner that says: sign up for my newsletter. if you just do that one little thing, you will help me immensely. This will subsribe you to my proposed newsletter. then i will have permission and your email address. i will send you newsletters that contain links to website. please, you do not have to buy anything. just promise me that you will open the newsletter, and then click the links on the items. this will help my search engine relevancy and google will finally get the hint that i exist. this will help me to cut down on advertising and make me more visible in the territory. that one little thing would help alot! as you see, website still is not functional like i want it but hopefully i can change this very soon. meanwhile i am marketing locally.....

what? where am I? have I been dreaming? Oooops, were you? we can always dream! this is where i am going when things start moving around here....but seriously this is where we want to go.

all inquiries reply in writing to: contact@cassiacandlefragrance.com

17 comments:

Beth said...

hey lady!

i may some day in the future have a party for you, but we'll have to look at that later.

however, i am a very good bug-finder, meaning once you think your website is running, i'm very good at finding any bugs and let you (or your webmaster) know about them. i'm also happy to do editing/proofreading for you, etc. just let me know. if i can do it from home, i'm happy to help you however i can. oh, and i'd love to wear your beautiful t-shirt. do you have it in an orange 2x?

i love you

Mommy Mere Pete said...

I can wear the tee-shirt ~ got it in red L?? I have a baby to volunteer to wear a onesie ~ got any in pink 3 - 6 months?? Would love to help how I can with three kids during the week ~ let me know!!

We love you!!

katw0man said...

nope,sorry, cassia's colors are
green......greeen....and more green.

however, shirt is white with green logo imprint on front.

i have some coming this weekend.

the only colors i could order off the website were black, white, grey. the obvious choice is white.


love you guys!

Anne-Marie said...

You're quite funny. I read much of that post laughing. I can definitely identify with the dirty kitchen part of things =)

BethC said...

I want some little teacher gifts.
I'm thinking about 5 - 10 candles.

Yes, I would like to read your copy of MM. Have u seen/read any of the "millionaire next door" series? Sounds like they may be similar.
If you have some time Saturday or next Wednesday for me to see the products/gifts; I'll call you.

katw0man said...

anne marie,
i am now exposed. going public is such a vulnerable thing.....
probably better not to link this vulnerability with my friends to professional website....
thoughts?

katw0man said...

beth,
what sized candles for teachers?
i have 10 oz, and 16 oz.

call me, i am usually in my kitchen~!

meredith came over yesterday and i was so embarrassed. i henceforth spent the next 3 hours cleaning my kitchen....

why didn't she come later?

yes, you can come over but call first.

terri ramirez is having a party for me at her house next saturday morning at approx. 11 am or so.

check in later for more details!

Mommy Mere Pete said...

That makes me sad that you were embarrassed ~ I didn't notice HONESTLY!!! I'm not one for a pristine clean house ~ makes it look like its not lived in. I always say its a place where people live ~ clean to be healthy is good of corse!!

My Rachie calmed down on the drive back after about 3 minutes in the car ~ the lavendar worked!! And she smelled good too!!! Thank you so much for the dress!!! I love it!! Took picts of her in it this morning and she looked amazing!!! She will wear it tomorrow for you to see!!!

Well, gotta go ~ Christmas gifts to make and baby sleeping ~ now's my chance!!

Love you!!

BethC said...

Like my sweet and kind mama stanley would say
"I didn't come to see your house; I came to see you"

the smaller (10oz) candles for teacher gifts (each with a cassia brochure and a business card)
FREE Advertisement!
Can you give me a price for
5 or 10 or 12 candles

katw0man said...

hi beth,
i woke up worrying early this morning. 10 oz. candles would be
regularly 13.99 each. but i would give you a good deal. i have alot of christmas flavors, what were you thinking? i can drop a brochure by your house today if you want (if I can figure out how to get there....i always forget)
let me know what your budget is and i will try to accomodate that.
professional courtesy, shall we say.....!

katw0man said...

mommy mere pete,
i just reread my last comment.
you are welcome in my kitchen, my home and my heart anytime! just know i can get a bit messy. but i hate it there.....i prefer my kitchen spic and span and shiny!

Mommy Mere Pete said...

I think life is messy ~ at least for me!! I love and treasure you!!!

BethC said...

thsnks for the brochure. I'll call ya tomorrow after school.

katw0man said...

TO ALL MY FANS,
HAHAHAH
FALLINGDOWNLAUGHING

MY PHONE IS ON THE BLINK AGAIN. I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO CONSOLIDATED ALL WEEK LONG. NOW THEY THINK MY MODEM IS NOT COMMUNICATING TO WHATEVER 5 ZILLION TANGLED CORDS BEHIND MY DESK

THEREFORE, MY CELL NO IS ALL YOU CAN USE TO GET ME. 936-672-3966.
SORRY

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.

I MAY OR MAY NOT HEAR IT RINGING WHILE IN THE KITCHEN MAKIN CANDLES.
SORRY FOR INCONVENIENCE.

OUT
PEACE
JOY
AND LONGSUFFERING THE HOLY GHOST.

katw0man said...

BETHC I AM MAKING YOU SOME CANDLES IN FAITH.....
I KNOW YOUR LAST DAY OF SCHOOL IS
FRIDAY, RIGHT?
SO THEY WOULD HAVE TO BE READY BY TOMORROW NIGHT AT THE LATEST?
I AM MAKING
CHRISTMAS TREE
VANILLA BOURBON
FIRESIDE
APPLE PIE
DICKENS CHRISTMAS
YOU CAN PICK WHICH EVER YOU LIKE!

OK, GOTTA RUN....

Jess said...

Kat- I answered you on my blog, but I'd love to be a product tester...

katw0man said...

jess,
very well then! i can fix you up! r you coming here?

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